What God Said Through the Preacher's Wife
By Raul Rivera
The voice of your wife is one of the most important voices a pastor will ever hear. God will tell you more about leading your church through your wife than any other person. Yet often times, and I'm no exception, we tend to hear her as a last resort. It's been 19 years now and the same struggle continues . . . I don't hear God very well through my wife. Why is that? Is there anyone more committed to me than her? Is there anyone who prays for me more than her? What a wretched man I am. The very things I want to do I do not do and the things I wish I did every day, I rarely do. In the years that I was a pastor there are three very distinct things that I heard God say to me through my wife and I would like to share them with you today.
- I believe in you: My wife continually made it clear to me that even if no one else believed in me, she did. Her voice was so important to me in the first days of starting the church because, truth be told, she was the only one who actually did believe in me. A pastor's wife not only tells her husband that she believes in him, she also proves it every day. She does it by putting her fingerprint in every area of the church, from children's ministry to the cleaning, from the church books to praise and worship. I have heard many pastors tell me that when they feel discouraged, they think about the people in the church that are committed to the church and of all their sacrifices and that makes it clear to them that the Lord is still in it . . . but they rarely mention their wives. Maybe it's a given, but I know my struggles and those of pastors. For unexplainable reasons we tend to lose our way after a church has grown a little and we tend to forget that her voice today is ever more important than ever to hear . . . especially when we need to know that the Lord is saying that He still believes in us.
- Am I Beautiful?: Every time my wife and I go on a date, she takes extra time to get dressed and make herself beautiful. When she comes out of the bedroom, she looks at me with a pretty smile and waits in anticipation for my comments. The first words I say as soon as I see her can determine the mood of our date. She wants to hear me say "Wow, you look beautiful." Her need to hear those words makes her feel pursued. Being made in God's image she was born with the need to hear those words of affirmation just like I am. However, she expresses a side of God that I can only know though her. The Lord wants you as a pastor to pursue Him and find that He really is enough for you. We find an example in Scripture in Mark 6:48 (NLT) when the Lord walked on water towards the disciples as they struggled to keep their boat from sinking. The scripture records that he approached them but instead of helping them he intended to "pass them by." He could have just helped, but He wanted them to notice Him. There is a reason for this. As pastors when we experience success in ministry, it is very easy to get lost in the success and quit our pursuit of Him.
- Be excellent: Have you ever wondered why it is that the pastor's wife is always willing to do the things that no one else will do? It's not just because she believes in her husband, but because she has deep-rooted feelings for you to succeed as a pastor and have favor with God and man. When I saw her do the things no one else wanted to do, I heard the Lord telling me, "Raul, be excellent in ministry." When I pastored my wife noticed the details. She took minutes at every board meeting and made sure they were excellent, she overlooked Sunday bulletins, noticed how I dressed every Sunday and also expressed great concern over the church's government compliance even though she was not an expert in that area. She knew that if these areas of the church were done with excellence it would give me favor before God and men. While observing this it became clear to me that the Lord wanted that same pursuit of excellence to be borne in me.
If what you are reading in this article seems like a stretch, just simply ask your wife her opinion. She will probably confirm it and tell you more than you are ready to hear.